I went to see the startswithapbuticanneverspellitanditishi gherupinrankthanatherapist and she said something that I have been thinking about since she said it: Do you crave attention?

No. I crave love, being accepted, being good enough. I can never be good enough it seems. I can't be good enough, ever, I can't even breath well enough it seems. Attention is nice, but that's not it....It's approval. I want to be good enough, I want praise, I want to be good enough to be loved. But I'm such a failure that there is no use...I'll never be good enough. Never. Not for anyone.


How come people that don't want to die get cancer and such, and people who want to die don't? It's a sick joke, I think. Maybe not. Oh well. I don't care.

I really need to get new headphones. I need to drown out the world with Papa Roach music. *sigh* Lets see, I need to finish a project that was due like 2 weeks ago. See, I'm such a failure!! I can't do anything right or on time or well! I try to do good, I want people to approve....I want to be good enough in their eyes....I don't care what people say to this journal, its not like anyone reads it, but even if they did....They would only say it to make me feel better. But I'm not good enough and I never---You know, this sounds so self pitying XD Enough of that shit! It even annoys myself. Sure, I've practically given up on life....but why do you care? Haha.

Trin's pups. There were 6, now there are four. Their names:
Paris, looks a bit like a Saint Bernard, but oh so much more beautiful, cute, and bitchy XD
William, has a white chest, white chin, black body. Looks so...so...sophisticated~! And he has beautiful blue eyes~
Sebastian and Shakespear, these two look like twins, if you will. They have a lighting bolt like (or at least it is to me) of white on their chests and are black besides that. [still here]
Marie Antionette, looks German Shepard-ish, but so much better![still here]
Lucy/Lilac/Lily/L, looks like a Herman Shepard too, but she is less fat than Marie Antionette XD [still here]

Yup...I love them so much~ My babies.

Uhh....anything else.....Not really. Hmm...oh. Thinking about Lavi cosplay again. I really want to cosplay as him, but I dont know if I could pull it off....I'm not as tall, and, sadly...*grabs small but yet still there boobage* You normally can't tell, but I do have boobs xDD But thankfully I have jackets to cover them....But, if Lavi costume (I like the second version better, but I might go for ver. 3)...they...they will be there and seeable TT.TT Oh well.

Uhhh uhhhhhhh......Hmmm....yeah that's kinda it...I guess.....oh! I should be reading Code Geass soon. And, there should be lossa Pein art coming~! As well as Lavi art....It'll be basically those three and that's like....it XD It's almost 3 am, bye bye~ *waves like Gin*



.............HAY YOU KIDZ GET AWF MAH LAWNZ


AND.
YOU.
JUST.
LOST.
THE.
GAME.


......Fuck I did too!!